Monday, September 14, 2015

Getting Saucy! So Sous Me - Part 6

Taeryn gasped gently, as Frank’s meaty hands closed around the pair of her meaty tomatoes.

“Softer! Gently! Gently grasp it just so… yes, just like that… now… twist the tips.”

Frank, while a massive specimen of man who would appear to have the fine motor control skills of a Rhinoceros on a T-Rex sized dose of Ketamine, displayed technique and care, as he slowed the grasp of his sausage like fingers to grasp firmly around the pliant skin of her tomatoes, the tips of his fingers reaching the top of that supple flesh, and he tweaked the top ever so gently, until they gave way, and yielded to him, and fell off into his hands.
Two Big Tomatoes, taken by fs999

“Oh yes… very gee gollying grand. And that’s how I harvest my tomatoes,” Taeryn stated with satisfaction, basking in the afterglow of a well taught lesson. “Like they are delicate female breasts that need to be treated with care and delicateness. Which varies from woman to woman, but in this case they are an analog for how I like to be treated,” she said, giving him a pretty clear indicator of how he should treat her in bed if that were to happen again.

Frank nodded, “This is something I know about,” he said in a not bragging way but which simply a matter of fact, because of the author’s insistence that Frank is not a boastful sort of fellow but needed to get the point across that Frank was very very knowledgeable about pleasuring women.

In another heavy handed metaphor for feeling up breasts, Taeryn held before her chest two large Vidalia onions, the size of 36D cup breasts before her own 36DD cup breasts, using the advantage of compare and contrast to highlight to the reader just how big her hooters were. 

“Now show me how you peel good glorying fresh farm raised onions right here in the heartland of Texas,” Taeryn moaned with a bite of her lip, which really was quite unnecessary if you think about it. 

Frank delicately pulled back the papery outer skin of the onions before removing the tough outermost layer of the onion, in what the author assumes is a pretty straightforward allusion to removing a woman’s bra but will be lost on most of the readership.

Several cut scenes featuring cutting the tomatoes into a puree using knives carved out of Texan meteorites, which by definition were bigger than normal meteorites take place, with a stern expression and lots of finger pointing from Taeryn, which annoyingly got close to touching Frank’s large and well defined abdominal section but never quite got there in spite of several emotionally charged eye locking moments. The onions were given similar treatment, hand broiled in both Taeryn’s and Frank’s hands to hand caramelized perfection, and it was all mixed together into the big melting pot.

“And that’s how you make a hoot hollerin honest to betsies ketchup, my family style!” Taeryn concluded, revealing the author’s ignorance by overlooking most of the actual steps of how to make ketchup. “That’s all you’ll need for now, the rest is a family secret.”

“I absolutely respect that,” Frank said, and he meant it, where a more angsty male character might have taken this as some mortal insult, and take it upon himself to discover her family’s recipe to improve upon it like 85% of movies like this where the well meaning outsider disrupts years and years of tradition and improves it in a tired savior metaphor.

“Alright my big hunky looking helper, let’s get some rest for the big competition tomorrow,” she drawled at him, without a hint of suggestion of sexytimes, because she actually wanted to get rest that night.

They then slept quietly, because Frank respected her as both a person and her instructions, since she knew what she was doing, and deserved to win each contest before, so there was really no need to fix what was broken, and because unlike what mass media will tell you, even though Frank was a man (and a big strong virile one at that) he did not need to have sex all the time, and slept without complaint through the night, which normally should not be that impressive.

Unlike his morning wood, which was always impressive, and his dong is tastefully highlighted in soft shadows of this morning scene underneath the coverlet which was barely large enough for his gorgeously work tanned and genetically tan body, and it is there for the female viewer to appreciate since this is a double standard that is well overdue for being rebalanced if not outright overturned.

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