Monday, October 12, 2015

Frank Dieselwang and the Somewhat Anachronistic Bootlegger

"Nyah nyah, you'll never get away with this copper! Nyah!' said that not at all dated mafioso armed with a tommy gun and a fedora but not in the nice guy sort of way, as he menaced Frank Dieselwang with the aforementioned tommy gun.

"We'll see about that Caponata Coglione!" Frank Dieselwang declared right back, suddenly taking his shirt off for really no discernable reason, baring himself in the mid afternoon sun, his nipples aimed aggressively towards his aggressor. The size and firmness of his erect nipples clearly demonstrated a physical opposition and willingness to fight for his beliefs and justice.

Intimidated, Coglione fired a few poorly aimed shots at Frank, who dodged them in an overly exaggerated manner in spite of really not needing to.

Coglione charged into the warehouse which had the sign "secret bootlegger" scrawled over it in chalk, firing into the air for emphasis and demonstrating his full purchase into the unhealthiness of toxic masculinity, and locked the door behind him.

Frank charged in, in a recklessly cautious manner, driving his fist into the door, blasting it into splinters. "There may be a day you get away, but today is not that day!"

With a rush, jump, and conflict dissolving and climax achieving punch, Frank punched Coglione so hard that he yelped like a beagle who was recently bathed if that beagle really really really didn't like being bathed and yelped afterwards, and flew backwards into his 20 barrels of illegally brewed beer, breaking all of them.

Frank dusted his hands off, with the self satisfaction of a man finishing a job well done. "Now that's what I call a brewed awakening."

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